"Zombies, sir! Thousands of 'em!"

I've posted some slightly more ... restrained ... thoughts on Lunar duck auxiliaries here, but this clean-limbed son of the Red Goddess made an appearance in the 2004 Continuum conbook, Magnus Liber Rerum. As an officer in the Imperial Durulz Constabulary (Duke Euglyptus' Own Marsh Wardens) he keeps the peace. Irrespective of whether he's mounted on his (Masonic sorcery-wielding) giant beaver or not.

Lucius Ptarmiganus

Lucius Ptarmiganus was the second duck character I created for Hero Wars. (The first was Popoquackapetl the volcano-priest... probably best not to bring him up at the moment.) He was the first real output of my fascination with the potential of Lunar ducks. Here's his HeroQuest narrative:

Lucius the Heortling durulz was brutally teased as a duckling for his clubflipper and stammer. Excluded from pondgames, he took lonely walks through the Upland Marsh, dreaming of winning battles, approval and glory. Seeking inclusion, he did not flee when the Moon Warriors came, but embraced the Lunar Way. He fell head-over-flippers in love with JarEel the Razoress, who innocently gifted the besotted Sedenyite a lock of her hair. A devotee of Yanafal Tarnils, Lucius’ thoughts on marshland operations and tactics proved quite profound, leading to a commission in the Blue Dragoons, and his loyal Pelandan squad are quick to defend their officer from anatidaephobic comrades.

Poor sod.

Yanafowl Tarnbill

Though my own thoughts on ducks have been pretty light-hearted at times, I've usually tried to avoid some of the more common jokes in the community. Not necessarily because I don't like them--I do, and think they have their own fun place--but because I wanted to try something a little different. This following cult write-up of Yanafowl Tarnbill, therefore, marks something of an homage to John Castellucci and "What the Beak Quacks."




Yanafowl Tarnbill
“Warbler and Warrior”

Yanafowl Tarnbill was a durulz, a Hueymakti commander of the D­ucks And legion who traveled with his comrades to the far north and there performed a great ritual; one that reforged the shards of the Red Cosmic Egg, and cast it into the Sky in the Dehatching of Ruffled Zar. He fought his own god to gain divinity, and now resides within the Egg itself. For some utterly ludicrous reason (as also noted in the case of Hueymakt) humans persist in the notion of defining every major cosmic entity as one of their own kind (a foible to which the durulz are of course immune). The predominantly human congregation of the Red Cosmic Egg claimed that Yanafowl was from Yuthuppa, and sought to hide his durulz heritage in insinuated links to the bird-loving Rinliddi.

Yanafowl is war-god supreme of the durulz, greater even than Efrodar Blackflippers, though followed only by those dedicated to the gospels of the Red Cosmic Egg. In life, he was a master of the two greatest forms of warfare in the world: marshland operations and riverine barge fighting. As a god of unparalleled martial excellence, inextinguishable valor and unquestioned honor, worship of Yanafowl is naturally rare among the durulz. Nevertheless, The God That Defeated Hueymakt has no little kudos attached, and is seen as a refreshing alternative to the grim psychoses of the Deathdrakes by many nascent war-leaders and waghalters. Yanafowl’s followers are true heroes and dogged enemies of all Hueymakti bandits, splendidly marked by their large Eggshard scimitars, bronze panoply, crimson togas and scarlet-dyed war feathers.

Entry Requirements: Candidates must defeat a Hueymakti in single combat.

Abilities: Command River Barge, Egg Eye, Initiate or Devotee of Yanafowl Tarnbill, Marshland Fighting Tactics, Marshlore, Oratory, Riverine Tactics, Two-Handed Scimitar Fighting.

Virtues: Honorable, Militaristic, Valorous, Warmonger.

Affinities and Feats:
Marshland Myrmidon (Cunning Stratagem, Feigned Retreat, Perceive Enemy in Mist, Real Retreat, Silent Approach, Whistled Command)
River Reiver (Boarding Bound, Daring Dash, Engage the Enemy More Closely, Swim Silently)
Warbling Warlord (Feathers of Iron, Reinvigorating Yodel, Slicing Scimitar, Strike Aside Death, Warble of Command)

Secret: Defeat Death (if reduced to Dying in a contest, the Yanafowli may once only roll the rating of his secret against a passive resistance, and if successful return to the contest Unhurt, with 1 AP)

Other Side: Yanafowl Tarnbill serves Ruffled Zar in the Red Cosmic Egg, and loyal warriors join his glorious legions upon their passing from the Mortal World.

(Originally posted on HeroQuest-RPG, 9 July 2005.)

*That* Monograph

It has been asked, gentle reader, whether this correspondent might place at his public's perusal a certain monograph of his own humble authorship. Written two years ago, this particular piece of social inquiry is noted for its interest in the more prurient and narcotic elements of the Gloranthan experience, though written with the expertise of a true scholar and not some licentious popinjay. It had originally been intended for volumes that did not come to fruition; aghast, this correspondent had satisfied himself that his work would be for naught. By curious happenstance, however, a copy was placed before the benighted savages of the World of Glorantha. Though this correspondent does not believe that his current readership, anymore than the beings of WoG, is possessed of the necessary erudition to appreciate its merits, in whole or in part, he is nevertheless dutybound to accede to the whims of his public.

Therefore, he is honoured to present said monograph for public perusal.

The Cloacamite Conspiracy

The cloacamite is the durulz courtesan of the Empire, often a slave, though not exclusively so, and a prized possession of many a Rinliddi nest. Most cloacamites are juvenile durulz of either sex, though some are mere ducklings when inducted into the prized cloacamite academies of First Blessed, most notably in Ganbarri and Nenuvus.

The common cloacamite is no mere nest-warmer, but a considerably educated and socially adept durulz; a heady combination of sycophant, body-servant, companion, muse, valet and major-domo. This durulz frequently takes a major role in the running of any household, overseeing its master's clients and avilry with a dedicated eye.

Dressed in the finest togas of Kralori silk and perfumed with the flowered-waters of the Jords, the cloacamite is typically fluent in several languages (linguistic and erotic), and trained to achieve a melodious warble and sensuous grace in the tragi-comic durulz songs and dances beloved of Rinliddi nobility, whose bizarre mixture of introspective melancholy and hilarious pratfalls are unique in the lands of the Goddess.

Far from a simple object of fancy and pride, many cloacamites achieve considerable wealth and real political power through patronage and their own abilities. Their activities make them ideal spies and assassins, and the cloacamite is a prominent agent in the Dart Wars endemic to First Blessed and the Empire as a whole.

Cloacamites are despised by many in the Empire, and rumour-mongering of their malign influence on any prominent noble is common. Such rumours are occasionally true, as in the occasion a Rinliddi noble placed his favoured cloacamite, WaaOronish Irrumator, in command of the Diavizzi Guard, a regiment of the Garrison Army. Argenteus is himself believed to possess his own copulation of cloacamites (the correct collective noun), which he finds riotous company.

Abilities: Alluring Dance, Fine-Feathered Eroticism, Feign Emotion, [Local Culture] Etiquette, Manipulate Companion, Mine Gossip, Oversee Nest, Perform [Cloacamite Art], Preen Self, Sing Durulz Paean, Social Scheming, Speak [Language].

Typical Personality Traits: Indolent, Preening, Selfish, Sycophantic, Vain. Typical Relationship: to Favoured Client, to Master, to Other Cloacamites (usually negative and dismissive in form).

Typical Followers: A particularly wealthy cloacamite might possess his own servants, perfumiers and feather-smoother, though even the lowliest soon asserts his dominance over the many servants of a master's household.

Standard of Living: Prosperous.

(Originally posted on HeroQuest-RPG, 2 August 2005. A revised version is contained in the monograph "Ten Woonar! Quacky-Quacky!" Pimps, Pushers, Prostitutes and Preverts in the Military Occupation of Sartar, by yours truly.)

Waaluk Redbeak, Famed Durulz Gladiator

I. Waaluk Redbeak and "friend" (c. 1624). Of the admittedly small number of durulz gladiators that have graced the Imperial arenas, there can be little doubting the most famous: Waaluk Redbeak. The crowds loved (and at times loved to hate) Waaluk. He may have gone to seed in his retirement, but back in his pomp he was a lean, sinewed, vicious little bastard, who excelled in his own particular brand of murderous theatre. They knew his boasts and catchphrases--"I's gonna eat yer guts like worms... worms I say!"--and showered him with gifts.

Redbeak's most famous fights came in 1618 [7/47], when he was fighting for a noble House in Melsorkoth. A particularly inopportune act of blasphemy on the part of the head of the House had caused the city (and its newly reaped fields) to be drenched by a torrential downpour. Disaster beckoned, and the nobles desired to assure the good graces of the populace and gods alike. The normal method--sacrificial games--seemed out, as the arena was flooded. At Redbeak's suggestion, however, the Melsorkothites transported tons of spoiled crops, mud and general waste, and dumped it into the amphitheatre, soon forming a foetid swamp.

Redbeak gathered together all the durulz gladiators available, and pitted them against all the zombies and beasts the city could find. It was a superb spectacle (though it started to smell after a while), unlike anything ever seen in the Empire, as the durulz re-enacted their ancient legends. The gods forgave the city, and Redbeak was hailed as one of the greatest gladiators in the Heartlands. Soon after he bought his freedom, and now lives in plump retirement in Darjiin, where he brews ricewine and owns a modest little manufactory.

(Originally posted on World of Glorantha, 12 December 2007.)

"Hail, Moonson! Those who are about to die..."

H. Durulz gladiator (c. 1624). Though many ducks were slain for the bill-bounty in the aftermath of Starbrow's Rebellion, others still were enslaved by the Lunars. For some entrepreneurs the durulz's small bodies made them ideal for the mines; but for others they were taken simply as curios and oddities to be displayed in theHeartlands. Given the Lunar Empire's penchant for novelty and Inclusiveness, it was not long before these short, feathered unfortunates were cast into the gladiatorial arenas.

The earliest bouts were massacres, as quivering drakes were overwhelmed by the magnitude of the spectacle, offput by the dry, featureless arena floors, and slaughtered for the amusement of baying crowds. Then things started to change. The durulz that survived, mostly by luck, began to adapt; and, most importantly, they won the crowds to their side.

Why? Ducks are ready-made favourites of the arena. Being small ands light compared to most of their foes, they revel in the role of the underdog. When confident they are boastful, preening, irrepressible show-offs. And they display a tenacity and sheer vindictiveness thati s all too often absent in the arena, dominated by professional gladiators who commonly 'go easy' on each other for mutual benefit. Not the durulz.

After all, all durulz gladiators worship the god the Heortlings call Humakt. Even those (the majority) who don't. Quick to spot the mesmerising effect this barbaric Death God had on the crowds, lanistas and patrons made sure that their charges hammed up every aspect of his worship, littering their performances with grim Humakti songs and oaths, strange sword-dances and chilling warbled cries. Pairings between a Humakti and a Shargashi are among the most eagerly awaited in the arena!

This particular gladiator shows several features of the 'durulz style', focusing on speed and nimbleness. He is outfitted with two distinctly durulz items: a Type Va mollusc-helm, crafted from a real shell, with a mail neck-guard; and a durulz wingblade--a large serrated version of the single-edged falcata. The wingblade is used to slash and tear at the muscles and hamstrings of opponents, to weaken them, cripple them, and allow the drake to eventually deliver a killing stroke. This style of fighting is much loved by the crowds, for the short stature of the durulz means that they are rarely able to deliver a 'quick kill' by virtue of strikes to the neck and chest, and thus fight a longer bout, giving the crowd their money's worth. A shield is also carried, but not shown here.

(Originally posted on World of Glorantha, 12 December 2007.)

"Quo vadis, lispbeak?"

G. Two Lunar durulz auxiliaries (c. 1617). Being a somewhat fractious race, with many existing quarrels, it is perhaps not surprising that some durulz turned 'quackling' (as the phrase goes). Faced with slavery or liquidation, a few sought to take Moonson's salt insteadof fleeing into the Marsh. Motivations varied, from cowardice and/or a wish for amnesty, to revenge, greed, or simply a desire for cheap Lunar gin. Few, if any, were inspired by the finer points of Sedenyic philosophy. Irrespective of their reasons, they can expect nothing but cruel tortures if captured by their rebel kin; a fact that spurs a reciprocal hatred of their own.

Initially the Lunars were unconvinced at the utility of accepting such recruits, but the sheer number of bounties claimed, and the gradual increase in intensity and effectiveness of durulz guerilla attacks, suggested a change of approach. For the first year of their employment the durulz mainly served in an individual capacity as scouts, often roped and under ready threat of death at the slightest treachery. With time, and more recruits, the Lunars began to form small squads for other operations. Though some of these 'units' were composed of divers scouts and new recruits gathered together for the purpose, others were raised by the issue of warrants to ready-made, self-formed bands of murderers, looters and vagabonds.

Durulz auxiliaries usually muster in squads of six to ten drakes, led by a sord-septon. (Originally, the Lunars used Rinliddi terminology, but abandoned it when they found that none of the ducks could pronounce vrimon properly. Truth be told, they don't manage much better with septon.) There are probably no more than a hundred or so lunar durulz auxiliaries in total. They form important roles as scouts and boatducks, and are often detached to act as logistical troops for the Lunar Harbingers, much to their (mutual) chagrin.

The drake on the left is a sord-septon, commanding a small patrol. His panoply displays many Pelorian items: though the Lunars were at first content to let the durulz equip themselves as they could, they soon discovered that some of their equipment fascinated the preening ducks, and had a noticeable effect upon morale and attention to duty when issued in cut-down sizes. This officer carries a durulz slashing sword, and a painted Lunar peltast's shield. The 'bellied' cuirass, moulded to fit a drake's torso, is typically of bronze or boiled leather. His Pelorian helm is marked with a red and a black feather, and he proudly wears a scarlet cloak.

The drake on the right is an archer, with a motley set of equipment. His armour is a leather scale vest with mail shoulders, and he wears a loose leather cap. His bow is not particularly powerful. The shattered duck egg at the figures' feet displays the brutalities in which both sides engage.

Originally posted on ImmoderateGloranthaQuest, 12 December 2007.)